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Into the Dark and Scary Woods

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:19:18 -0400

April, 1857.After some considerable deliberation upon my part, I decided that rather than wait to receive another Venetian Cock Twist from the delectable Lady Rydeham-Harde, my time would be more productively spent venturing into the dark and scary w
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Interval: Lord Likely Slays the Dragon

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:06:22 -0400

April the Twenty-Third, 1857 - St. George's Day.Today is St. George's Day, a day where loyal Englishmen up and down the land and throughout the Empire join together and do...well, nothing, really. Absolutely ruddy nothing.St. George's Day is often fo
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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In Which His Lordship Gets A Head-Ache

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:16:22 -0400

April, 1857."Well, come on then! What is that in your trousers, sir?" Lady Rydeham-Harde repeated.I looked down at the considerable bulge in my pocket, then looked up at the lady, then to Inspector Spunkleford, who was frantically nodding his head in
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely and the Yes Man

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:29:19 -0400

April, 1857."I shall take the case!" I exclaimed excitedly. "I shall go to Rydeham-Harde House, and I shall investigate the brutal murder of that poor, unfortunate maid!""That is just as well, Likely," said Inspector Spunkleford. "After all, we are a
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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When In Doubt, Crack One Out

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:09:20 -0400

April, 1857.Writing these very journals is usually an exceedingly simple task. Being so incredibly gifted and ridiculously talented, I find that writing is almost second-nature to me, like breathing, or love-making, or crapping into my man-servant's
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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It Was Possibly A Dark and Stormy Night

Wed, 9 Apr 2008 01:36:32 -0400

April the Ninth, Eighteen Fifty-Seven.It was a dark and stormy night.I know that is a terribly clichéd way to commence a tale, but it also happens to be fact in this instance. It was a dark and stormy night. There was darkness, there was a storm and
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Inching Ahead of the Competition

Mon, 7 Apr 2008 21:25:56 -0400

Of course, whilst I will happily take Dr. Buttock's money for running his advertisement in my journals, I should like to make it clear that I have never made use of the advertised programme, nor will I ever need to do so.- Lord Likely.A Very Importan
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Freedom

Fri, 4 Apr 2008 00:47:43 -0400

Happy April. I apologize in advance, but this month I am a little busy working toward completing a revised draft of a project I am working on, tentatively titled, Soul Kiss. Because of this, I have decided to share a story I posted this time last
Source: The Hungry Ghost

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A Most Hilarious Wheeze

Tue, 1 Apr 2008 16:45:26 -0400

April 1st, 1857."What ails you milord? You seem remarkably down, if I may say so. You look like a man who lost a pound then found a penny, and that penny was covered in shit. Is everything alright, milord?"For once, Botter had proven to be rather ast
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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The Astonishing Anger of Lord Likely

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 03:02:40 -0400

or Lord Likely is One: The Final Chapter.March, 1857.Having been left a homeless wretch, caked in vomit and piss and with my natural sense of style and grace rent asunder, I was naturally more than a little displeased with those vagrant swines who h
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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A Penny For One's Thoughts

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:48:07 -0400

Somewhen, 1857.Now where was I?Ah, yes. In the gutter, in a pool of my own urine, apparently homeless and with no recollection of who I really was.In other (decidedly more succinct) words, I was in big trouble.I elected to try and get up, and maybe t
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Instant Head Relief

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:19:32 -0400

March 21st, 1857.Another Brief Commercial Interlude- Lord Likely.Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Likely is drunk. Very drunk INDEED.*****Presenting gaup - another quality venture from the cads responsible for these Astonishing
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Hard Times

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 16:00:22 -0400

or Lord Likely is One, chapter number six.Date unknown, 1857.I awoke with the most awful of headaches.I am no stranger to hangovers, of course. My hedonistic lifestyle dictates that I often wake up with a fierce, pounding headache and with little or
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Mr. Hardy's Water-Proof Cock-Hat

Wed, 5 Mar 2008 17:49:19 -0500

March, 1857.A Brief Commercial Interjection.- Lord Likely.Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: His lordship's current adventure resumes, when Lord Likely gets incredibly freakish with Jennifer the Incredibly Freakish.*****Notes, No
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely is One: The Third Part

Mon, 3 Mar 2008 02:27:26 -0500

February 24th, 1857.Against all my better judgement, I followed the foul-smelling, cider-swigging reprobate as he led us through the twisting back-streets and alley-ways of the city. I made sure that Botter, my man-servant, kept closely behind me, le
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely is One: Part The Second

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:44:11 -0500

February 24th, 1857.There are few things more horrifying, more terrible, more downright cataclysmic than running out of alcohol.The awfulness of this situation is multiplied by a factor of a million when one is supposed to be holding a magnificent ba
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely is One

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 14:39:18 -0500

February the Twenty-Fourth, Eighteen Fifty-SevenOh, dear diary! Today is a special day indeed, for it heralds the one year anniversary of our joyous union!Can it really be twelve months since I first opened you up, took my quill firmly in my hand and
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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His Lordship Has A Close Shave

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:46:29 -0500

February the 22nd, 1857.I had been admiring myself for two hours in the mirror this morning, when I came to the inescapable conclusion that I was looking considerably less than my usual dapper self. My hair was approximately half an inch longer than
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Movieland Confessions: A Dramatic Play in One Act

Sun, 2 Mar 2008 21:57:06 -0500

Characters Tiffanie Sparks: A child star in her late 30’s who hit the big-time in her late teens and early 20s, then fell hard and into obscurity. Pappa Sparks: Tiffanie’s father. Mid 60’s, skinny, and always sweating. Pappa is Tiffanie
Source: The Hungry Ghost

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Tags: writing, fiction, creative writing, playwriting, mark b. papale

Likely in Love

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 02:42:00 -0500

February 14th, 1857.It will come as no surprise to those who know me that I find myself inundated with Valentine's Day cards every February the fourteenth. From anonymous declarations of love, to heavily-scented letters from female admirers begging m
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely has Some Trouble with The Brown Mist

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:49:00 -0500

Behold! The Double-length Conclusion to Lord Likely's Latest Astonishing Adventure!1st of May, 1851.As Mr. Harry Flashman and I dashed off to find my missing man-servant, I took the time to explain precisely how my stinking servant had become an inte
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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The Penny Drops, and the Puzzle is Completed. Also: Breasts.

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 03:09:00 -0500

May 1st, 1851.There is a sexual position well-practiced among a small tribe in deepest, darkest Africa, called 'The Flaming Blow-Pipe'. Not much is known about the position, except for one very important thing: out of those who practice it, only a h
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely Will Be In His Trailer

Thu, 7 Feb 2008 20:14:00 -0500

In which his lordship interrupts proceedings with a brief commercial interval.February, 1857.Good day, all!We all know how incredible, amazing, dashing, debonair and all-round damned-well astonishing I am, but still there remain people in this wide w
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Mob Mentality

Wed, 6 Feb 2008 20:41:57 -0500

The story below is an entry for consideration in EndOfThisWorld, a surreal novel whose creators started with an inciting event. Writers are invited to submit chapters that take the lead from the one previous, and ultimately the story leads to a gl
Source: The Hungry Ghost

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Tags: endofthisworld, surreal novel, virtual novel

Lord Likely is Swallowed Whole

Tue, 5 Feb 2008 00:37:00 -0500

May 1st, 1851.Mr. Harry Flashman and I picked Botter up off the floor, where he was lying, sobbing, in among hundreds of shards of broken glass; and then the three of us dashed off until we were a safe distance away from the Crystal Palace and our th
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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In Which Botter Has A Simply Smashing Time

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:12:00 -0500

May the First, Eighteen Fifty-One."Aye," said Harry Flashman, leaning in to get a closer look at the Koh-i-Noor Diamond, now believed to be a fake. "I'll say we have a mystery on our hands. This one is definitely not the real thing.""Now, Mr. Flashma
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Interlude: Perfection in a Top Hat

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:24:00 -0500

January, 1857.I have long suspected that I am the very paragon of perfection. That may sound like cheap, lazy arrogance, but when one is as continually astounding as I, and blessed with such devastatingly good looks, it is hard not to come to the con
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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The Disturbing Dilema of the Disappearing Diamond

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:48:00 -0500

May 1st, 1851Mr. Harry Flashman, my man-servant Botter and my fantastically fabulous self made quick on our collective legs, and dashed off to try and escape the oncoming police, who had been alerted to our presence by our fantastically furious bout
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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A Great Big Punch Up at the Great Exhibition

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:09:00 -0500

May the First, 1851.With nothing but revenge filling my heart and my thoughts, I marched on after Mr. Harry Flashman, and the three Indian beauties he had just swiped from under my noble nose. I fully intended to show the swaggering cock-end exactly
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Lord Likely and the Kingdom of the Crystal Pig

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 19:15:00 -0500

May the 1st, 1851.After being released from gaol by Inspector Albert Spunkleford, I made it my first point of business to put as much distance between myself and my detestable former cell-mate, Mr. Harry Flashman. I hailed a passing hansom cab, and h
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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When Harry Met Likely

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 14:37:00 -0500

January 15th, 1857.Now, where the bloody hell was I?Ah, yes.May 1st, 1851. "Harry who?" I asked, although to be honest my actual interest in my cell-mate was extremely minimal."Harry Flashman," repeated the fellow, "I imagine you have heard of me, of
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Intermission: Wherein Lord Likely is Well Liked

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 14:53:00 -0500

January the 12th, 1857.I know I have just commenced upon the recollection of another of my astonishing adventures, and I acknowledge that it is rather bad form to interrupt my latest tale so soon in proceedings, but I have some news to impart to you
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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In Which His Lordship Makes An Exhibition of Himself.

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:14:00 -0500

January the Tenth, 1857.To be quite honest, the year eighteen fifty-seven has so far been rather disappointing. I'm aware that the year is still very much in its infancy, but infant or not, this year must try damned harder or it shall feel my boot in
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Self-Help, the Victorian Way.

Wed, 9 Jan 2008 02:00:00 -0500

January, 1857.- Lord Likely*****Next time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: His lordship clashes with another Victorian rogue, in a special one-off adventure! (We promise it will happen, this time.)Attention! There are still two days left
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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Apologies

Sat, 5 Jan 2008 15:14:03 -0500

I shall not bore you with the details but shall simply say that I plan on a return to form shortly. I've got a fantastic run of Strange Ship planned which I hope will be stunningly interesting. I also hope to bring you some other things that will
Source: The Man Behind The Curtain

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The Golden Cock Rises Again

Fri, 4 Jan 2008 13:43:00 -0500

January the 4th, 1857.And so the new year is finally here, thrust upon us like the unwanted child of a filthy whore, crying and spewing and urinating all over the carpet.It is customary at the start of a new year for the Queen (God Save Her and Roger
Source: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

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The View

Tue, 1 Jan 2008 16:42:20 -0500

Nick boarded the ferry in Sausalito, double-tall-non-fat-heavy-foam latte in hand, and claimed his customary seat - outside, upper deck on the right-hand side. He took a sip, coating the inside of his mouth with warm milky foam, smiled and exhaled a
Source: The Hungry Ghost

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